


the one that blinds is the one that opens eyes

by hadesdancehall (jeien)



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Kalim tries his best, post episode 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26472679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeien/pseuds/hadesdancehall
Summary: It doesn't take a survivalist to know that Jamil probably shouldn't eat what Kalim made him.
Relationships: Kalim Al-Asim/Jamil Viper
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	the one that blinds is the one that opens eyes

**Author's Note:**

> for ari, who requested fluffy jamikali!! i hope you like it!
> 
> title from the quote 'there are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes'

“What the _hell_ is this supposed to be?”

He knows Kalim well enough to catch that picture-perfect grin falter at the corners. Still, Kalim pushes the tray towards him.

“I made you tikka masala! All by myself!” Jamil shoots him a look—specifically the _Go ahead, I dare you to tell me again that you went into the dorm kitchen unattended_ look—which has Kalim immediately following up with, “Okay, so I didn’t make it all by myself! I had the underclassmen help me! …Alright, I made them do most of the work with the meat and rice, but I stirred the pot and touched it all up in the end!”

That would explain pretty much everything.

From what he can see, the chicken itself is nicely cubed into even pieces without any of the meat shredding and the consistency of the sauce is thick enough to ooze deliciously down the fluffy bed of jasmine rice. Jamil, after all, trained Scarabia’s students well in the culinary arts. He had no doubt that, if left to their hands, the tikka masala would be to his tastes.

“Did you even taste it yourself?” Jamil asks.

And with an even brighter smile that knows absolutely nothing of the chemically-engineered weapon of mass destruction he’s holding, Kalim replies, “Nope! I wanted you to have the first spoonful!”

If only it had been left to their underclassmen!

The sauce itself looks so disproportionately red, as if Kalim just dumped all the spices from the cabinet into the pot and then somehow sprinkled in whatever herbs were within reach! If anyone told him this was some new raw material Ignihyde found to power their machines, Jamil wouldn’t even question it! Kalim al-Asim, can you care to explain how he’s supposed to survive this?!

“I refuse.”

“Huh?! But Jamil, I made this just for you!” Except Kalim admitted not even a few minutes earlier that he barely contributed. “It’s not like I poisoned it or anything!”

A viper needs to strike quickly at any opportunity given.

Jamil crosses his arms. “Then why don’t you go ahead and test it for me. I’ve been your poison tester for several years now. Since we’re apparently equals, you can at least do the same.”

He knows he’s won the gambit even before Kalim puffs out his chest and cheeks, unwilling to back down from this challenge.

“Fine!”

Kalim is doubled over on the floor within the next minute.

“Man,” he wheezes out between spice-roughed coughs, “I thought I could’ve finally made you one of your favorites…”

Jamil knows Kalim well enough to see the inevitable failure of his cooking attempt. He hardly even knows how to make his own bed properly in the morning. In every way, Jamil will always come out on top now that he’s uninhibited with his ambitions.

Except when it comes to one thing.

He sighs and hauls Kalim to his feet. “Get up already. I’ll teach you.”

“Really?! You’re the best, Jamil!”

Jamil isn’t soft on him! Not at all! He’s just easily annoyed by all the incessant whining—and the whining will go on forever until this naïve, spoiled young master gets his way!

Right?

Right?!

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on [twitter!](https://www.twitter.com/jeienb/)


End file.
